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"My Aunt Matilda is vacationing seaside in Bolivia."
"But Bolivia is land-locked."
"It if were land-locked, she couldn't be at the beach, and she is, so you're wrong."
"No, I think you've got it wrong. See, look at the map here."
"That map is from 1982."
"Do you think Bolivia has changed its borders?"
"Are you saying countries never change their borders?"
"I'm saying Bolivia hasn't."
"What about the Louisiana Purchase and Manifest Destiny? Would you look at a map made in 1800 and declare that the United States has no west coast?"
"I'm saying either your aunt is vacationing seaside or in Bolivia, but not both."
"Answer my question about Manifest Destiny."
"We were talking about your aunt's vacation."
"Are you sure you heard her right? Maybe she said Columbia."
"So you're calling my aunt a liar?"
"You said you think she lied to me."
"I just said maybe she said Columbia."
"Why would she say that? Are you accusing her of smuggling drugs?"
"You tell me. You're the one who brought it up. I don't see why else you would say she's secretly in Columbia."
"Look, this has nothing to do with drugs."
"So now you deny saying that my aunt went to Columbia."
"I don't know where your aunt is."
"Well if you don't know where she is, you can't sit there and tell me she's not on the Bolivian coast!"
"Bolivia has no coast!"
"And where do you get that idea -- your ancient maps? Who made that map anyway? How do I know it's even accurate?"
"Pick any map you want, Bolivia has no coast."
"I asked you who made that map. Yet another question dodged. "
"It doesn't matter who made the map."
"So you believe any map you see? How about if I draw you a map on this napkin and put India in North America. I suppose you'd believe that, too. "
"Why don't you look at your own map, then."
"Why don't you give me a straight answer? You've dodged every question and you've got no evidence that there's no seaside in Bolivia. If Bolivia has no coast, then why I haven't heard about it?"
"How should I know?"
"Another thing you admit to not knowing. But you think you're an expert."
"Tell your Aunt Matilda to bring back some shells for me, ok?"